Monday 4 August 2014

Why did you do this to me?

I believed in your writing skills, Mr. Bhaggat. I did, really. And you kicked me in the face?

Kick, the film - a kick in my face.

Mr. Khan doesn't do different shit, he does the same shit differently. from the pretensively chivalrous Prem to the sadak chap Pandey ji, he has been kicking our senses, kicking us writers, kicking them critics and kicking off the floor when women like Aishwarya Rai Bachan and Katrina Kaif fall for him! There were hooting young men in the theotre, trying hard to take off after him. The background scores were extremely loud, I was wondering if the audiance was competing with the sound system!
The dialogues are a menace to intelligent minds.
Fernandez was introduced as a psychologist and i hoped she would make an intelligent heroine. And she did - she was the intelligent woman who fell for the guy who impresses her with a chain of illegal deeds and a trip to jail.
Mithun da? I was always so fond of you. why did you sign this film?
Archana Puran Singh, where was the LSRian in you when you signed? Didn't you read the script?
I'm sure Hooda is going through financial crisis.
And there was Nargis Fakhri who was taller than Sallu Miya.
Well, the story line kicked off on the wrong foot!

Salu Miya, what is he, a monkey? Seriously, what does he keep doing? Didn't anyone slap him for so creatively churning out piles of bullshit? Well, would that even make a difference?

There's one very interesting scene where the hero is stuck in the river surrounded by cops. Hault. In the next scene, he is in India planning his next robbery. Then, he becomes a cop. The end.

Like the Beatles would say, "Let it be, let it be."

Even if Salman Khan is shown cooking biryani in different countries, eating biryani, serving Biryani, sharing biryani for three whole hours, the movie will gross two hundred millions. It will be a box office hit. A blockbuster.

The end.

Because my brain needs vaselene to recover.

P.S. Nawazuddin Siddiqui, you're not the villain. The villain is Sajid Nadiadwala. Over and out!

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