I didn’t do anything, chocolate vodka did it!

I swear I would have sat on the road if she didn’t let me sit. But she was being nice and she let me sit in the auto. Oh man… like Baba Thillon once sang, I was “blowing in the wind”. I still am, you know?
But, I wish my Baba Thillon was Punjabi, but sadly he was bob Dillon. Born in another country, died in another country. But I wonder what he thinks about chocolate vodka. Do you get more flavoursome chocolate vodka in the States?
The chocolate vodka I drank… boring vodka I drank long time ago… namesake man… they are just namesake. Didn’t even taste chocolate! Chocolate is supposed to be an aphrodisiac. Why isn’t anything happening?

I’m not drunk. I’m tipsy. I like talking when I’m drunk. I mean when I’m tipsy. When I’m drunk also I talk. But whatever man I’m sober and I can debate on neo liberalism and post colonialism. Wanna put up a fight? With me? I’m awesome at debates that sometimes I mentally strike the other person’s head with a hammer in frustration. Yesssssss……! That’s where the spirit comes from. I’m a great debater.

But what man? Chocolate vodka didn’t even taste chocolate! 260ML I drank up and all the money I paid for it. Why?

Why do I smell guava? I wanna smell chocolate. Someone give me chocolate. Please someone give me chocolate.

What’s wrong with my doughnut cover picture? Why is daddy cribbing about it? And you know? I asked why he didn’t like it. And he said “I’ll talk to you later.”
Mean daddy doesn’t realise the importance of chocolate and doughnuts in my life.

Someone send chocolate. Please someone send chocolate. But, note. I only eat white chocolate. Dark chocolate is Yuk… only Horney people like dark chocolate. No. I didn’t say it. Someone I know and don’t want to name once said it to me. I won’t name him because I hate him because he is a bad guy.

You know I was working on a group presentation and I asked a friend to give me her earphones. And earphones also smelled of chocolate. I wanted to ask her if she applies her chocolate lip balm on her earphones. Had I been drunk then I would have asked her, you know?
I was sad on Valentine’s Day. Because I didn’t get any chocolate. You know, hot women say valentino is an excuse for getting flowers and hugs and chocolates. And they regale themselves with chocolate, be it the pish posh chocolate Dundee cakes, or bigger aphrodisiacs like rum chocolate or novelty choco-treats like little chocolates wrapped in colourful papers and assorted in pretty baskets or even eclairs toffees.
But I guess it’s out of my business because I’m a sidekick and sidekicks are not hot.

But you know what; I respect the magic of globalisation. I want strawberries dipped in chocolate sauce. Sinful? Dark desires? You bet! Chocolate knows to tease the taste buds! 10 million orgasms in one go? Who would know? How cheesy! Oh I want chocolate cheese cake!

No one is getting me chocolate. I’ll sleep with my guava.

Baba Dillon, I’m “blowing in the wind”!