Oh shit! We left our fucking evidence! How now?
Oh, and, I should just stop being modest. Not everyone in the picture is ultra-gorgeous, but they are sorely beautiful. And it wasn’t a galaxy far, far away; it was on a podium with the bride and her groom in a wedding.
So, life on campus had gotten on our nerves. Seriously, TISS can put trees to sleep! After days of great depression and the result that is rumoured to be expected every tomorrow, the tension got to be too much while I decided to shake up the mood. I needed a merry long night.
“You look fine. In fact, presentable.”
“Not good enough for a wedding.”
Every nice looking woman is presentable for a man; I was dressed in jegings and a T. It was a moment of life changing decision making for me. After three seconds of thinking, I jumped up at the opportunity like a hapless puppy! After all, I asked for it. So what law to be scared of?
Sometimes I have epic realisations; it isn’t a good idea to go alone with a guy. How do we answer all the stares and glares and questioning expressions? Weddings aren’t a joke, are they?
So we roped another guy in.
“What?”
Ok, he’s going to say no.
“Let’s try.”
Hurray! Yoyo! Lalaalalalala!
Because people who don’t give into adventures are a menace to society. I would have cursed him with a horrible death at hundred surrounded by cockroaches and slugs. How can anyone deny a wedding invitation?
So we were three. Nothing to worry about. No one will suspect. We walked out of the gate with conjured bravado, and vowed to accomplish our mission.
After wandering for quarter of an hour, we successfully set foot on the red carpet, sans red noses! We mingled in the crowd and picked our plates.
We feasted on pani puris, ragda patties, Sarson da saag te makkhi di roti, puris, mixed veg, matar paneer, zeera rice, dal, dosas, papad, salad, ice-cream with chocolate sauce, gajar ka halva and gulabjamoon! Oh man, believe me; I pulled myself up with ease after all the stuffing. Digestion wasn’t difficult with simultaneous thinking and putting up an act. I was on a roll!
I remembered what we were discussing while walking to our destination.
“So, whom do we kill?”
“The guy. He’s ugly!”
The third member of the Gatecrash Association piped up “but the girl isn’t all that great either, I can’t see her structure!”
We were clutching our stomach in helpless fits of laughter! Had the groom been handsome, I would have murdered the bride and taken her place. Had the bride been pretty, the guys would have killed the groom and like Pandava brothers, they would have shared her.
Man! Men and their cheeky comments! Have a cheesy night, men!
After the food, we walked up the podium for a click. I hugged the bride and pored love. I wished her genuinely and posed with a mile broad smile. Who would have thought I could? Holy moly guacamole! They didn’t even ask who we were! She could have at least asked for my name! I had to resist the urge to whisper in her ear “we are gatecrashers babe, stop being so nice” with a great difficulty. But the guys had a great conversation next to the groom.
“We are leaving our fucking evidence!”
“Shut the fuck up!”
And the groom overheard! Ohmygosh bigosh!
I wished the couple again, they reciprocated the friendly gesture. At least they have our best wishes. Lord Lyttton, let them be happily married and they can leisurely repent together!
We took the photographer’s number. We’ll get our picture soon. That moment clicked at 22:12 hours on the 12th of December 2013 was perfect, and I have only a memory of it. But that is enough for cheering me up at points of depression! No, seriously, I really want young, decent gatecrashers attending my wedding, because its right when they say one should always feed the hungry.
So we successfully flew below the radar, and it’s a paradise there. We were visible enough to freeload food but invisible for people to remember us. Cheers to our newly discovered talent! *doffs hat* gosh I’m happier than the couple on their marriage!
Can you say spectacular?
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