After years of watching cartoons and bollywood and Mean Girls *sticks out her tongue*, I’ve realised that the role of the sidekick is kickass! No, honestly, can you imagine The Little Mermaid without Sebastian? Or Munna without Circuit? Circuit man! That guy! Now, tell me who’s funnier.
Munna – “Kya kar rila hai Circuit?
Circuit – “Bhai bulb pe baap ka naam likh rela hu”
Munna – “kyu?”
Circuit – “Bhai baap ka naam roshan karne ka hai na?”
Hahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha! *giggles* Bhaat a joke sir ji, bhaat a joke!
But jokes apart, have you ever thought on those lines?
No? Bad sidekick you make!
Who likes the sidekick’s role? Mr. Sidekick is always sidelined. I mean, a life full of magic and misery? I get so confused man! So, strengthening my case:
• The sidekick plays the court jester role; she makes the good times roll. They clutch their stomach and sound out with great difficulty “haha…you…you…it…haha…ain’t…haha…gasp…fa…funny”! Sadly the sidekick doesn’t get the credits.
• The sidekick is so ordinary looking that she is told about other beautiful women. Come on, Circuit cared for his “bhai” and “bhaabi” more than his “jaan” who didn’t show up even during the end of Lage Raho Munna Bhai. Even Gandhi didn’t show himself to poor Circuit. Tsk tsk!
• The sidekicks always have ultra-gorgeous buddies.
• She trips over her own feet. But can’t remember being picked by Mr. Right.
• She says ridiculously silly things when she tries to be serious. She could be going pea-green with envy, but she ends up saying things like “I wish I could be the lucky dog” with a broad grin. Blow her someone, by George!
• She has memorable catch phrases. “Shut the fuck up!”, “Awesomeness”, “you won’t understand, it’s so deep!”, “you are smart and it has everything to do with your ass!”, “I like your mum, she’s really cute and I’d like to adopt her!” and many more.
• Sidekicks are peculiar. The sidekick typing to you has a peculiar laugh, ever heard a donkey bray?
• She tries to shake up the mood when the tension gets to be too much, like when the heroine is diffusing a bomb (studying for an exam or un-plagiarising an assignment), or hitting on a cute guy, or something equally as life changing and world saving!
• The sidekick gets nothing more than a handshake from a cute guy. Whenever my hand is shook by an insanely attractive gentleman, my legs turn to jelly and lose the ability of balancing, my hands shake and drop things, I turn scarlet and I prepare to liquefy while he hugs my pretty best friend and waves a goodbye! Well, she is confident and beautiful to hug him back!
• A general notion – the heroine is beautiful while the sidekick is available.
• The sidekick cooks well, the heroine bosses better!
• The sidekick has the highest cool quotient that is never noticed by anyone.
• The heroine usually has some tasks she hates to do, so the responsibility to complete said task falls to the sidekick, i.e. conveying messages. Oops! One wrong message conveyed, sidekick screwed! Even if it means telling a hot guy about the shady guy hitting on the heroine. Because the hot guy might or might not be the hero! How do you respond to questions like “why do I need to know”?
• The sidekick tends to talk a lot. That leaves cute guys with the impression that she never shuts up!
• The sidekick is either mini or huge. I’m huge.
• Dainty princesses have the capacity to grow cuter with alcohol. Sidekicks blackout!
• Sidekicks are either silhouetted or killed! Will I die before my buddies, or be their ex buddy? *shudders*
Hmm. I rest my case.
Lots of love from the sidekick zone!
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